


Where The Heart Lies

by rainbow_writer



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, M/M, Multi, Perwaine (Mentioned), Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbow_writer/pseuds/rainbow_writer
Summary: In which Leon gives advice, and Arthur sucks it up, so he can follow his heart.
Relationships: Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	Where The Heart Lies

“There’s a danger to caring.”

Arthur said this to his best mate Leon, who sat beside him at the portion of a bar they occupied one evening. He said it, knowing full well who was seated at a nearby table behind. That was the reason afterwards that he raised his glass, and drained it within a few seconds flat. Beside him, he noted, Leon’s eyebrows were knitted together in confusion. 

No doubt, he had witnessed Arthur glance back more than once. He hadn’t been secretive about where his heart lay. 

“There’s a danger in everything, Arthur.”

Leon, of course, would say that. He only had half of an idea as to what Arthur meant, or he might have thought he had an inkling, at least. 

Arthur held up his tumbler, and requested another round for himself. Then, he turned to look at Leon again. 

"Some choices carry more risk than others though.”

Arthur said this as if he were imparting some great wisdom, rather than attempting to get out of allowing himself happiness. 

“Then ask yourself, is the reward worth the risk? Sometimes, you might be surprised to find, it is.”

A fresh tumbler of amber liquor appeared before Arthur, which he took up gratefully, intending to down it as he had the other. Leon held out a hand though, and so Arthur turned and placed it on the bar. 

Leon nodded behind Arthur. 

“Which one of them is it? Your eyes have only strayed over to that table the entire time we’ve been here.”

Arthur fixated on his glass for a moment, inhaling and exhaling as best he could without choking. His hand began to shake, threatening to drop the glass he held onto like a lifeline and a prayer. 

“Arthur?”

Leon’s voice only halfway registered to him as he tried to get a grip on his thoughts, and himself. 

With exhaustion ingrained deep within his soul, he turned, and met Leon’s worried expression. 

“Both.”

Realization and confusion dawned on Leon at the same time, Arthur thought, as he watched a myriad of expressions cross his best mate’s face. He knew there would be questions after, because the whole situation was indeed as preposterous as it sounded. 

“So you’re having trouble choosing or -”

Arthur allowed the insinuation to hang in the air for a moment, as he began nursing his next drink, wondering what all he could say. 

“I love them both, Leon, and they love me. Societal conventions for someone in my field do not allow for such a thing.”

“Bloody hell, Arthur.”

“Could you imagine Uther’s face were I to bring either one of them home? He would probably go stark raving mad.”

Leon deadpanned, “As if he isn’t already.”

Arthur sipped his drink slowly, and eyed Leon. 

His secret was out, and he felt spent. There was little else left to say on the matter, as he knew he could not have what his heart desired most - the love of not only one person, but two, at the same time. That, in Arthur’s line of work, simply wouldn’t do.

“So you would rather risk your happiness, over your profession, and what your father wants?”

“It’s not that simple, Leon.”

“The fuck it isn’t. If I had even one person that looked at me the way those two over there have been mooning over at you all night, then I would do whatever it took to make it work. Life is too short, and love makes it worth living, mate.”

“If the board caught wind of this -”

“So what if they did? They’re a bunch of stodgy old men, hand picked by Uther to continue the company’s legacy of being the worst sort of people. The only reason I or a few others have stuck around is because there’s the promise of what your future presidency will bring. You’re the reason that company hasn’t lost its humanity. So to hell with what anyone thinks, Arthur. If you have the means to be happy, then why not?”

“If the paps caught wind of this, their names will be drug through the mud, Leon. It’s not just about me. They have no idea what they could be in for, and I refuse to risk their livelihoods for the sake of my happiness.”

“Would you rather be caught out cheating, or openly loving two people who adore you as well, Arthur? I’d like to think we’ve come far enough in humanity that consensual non-monogamy wouldn’t be a problem, as opposed to what your father’s scandals entailed. He’s still the CEO of CamLot, Inc., is he not?”

Arthur sighed. 

Leon spoke the truth, even if he was unwilling to admit the man had a point. Society though, did not always reason well. Hate and ignorance did dangerous things to the uneducated, puffing them up to be something else, and which had led to violence. Hate crimes against those marginalized were proof of that. 

The more the alcohol settled into him though, the more sense that Leon’s opinion made. Why would he short change himself happiness?

Silence between the two had passed, even though the sounds of the pub all around them remained prevalent. 

Leon took a sip of his own alcohol. 

“You’ll only get so many chances, Arthur. At the end of the day, what are you willing to lose? Your chance at happiness, or a company that would allow for men like Uther to remain in power, when you are much more the sort that should be representing the downtrodden, and the like?”

Arthur was not sloshed, not even close. However, there was a pleasant buzzing in his system then. Pushing the glass to the side, so that the bartender or a barmaid could grab it up when one of them got the chance, he stood up. 

“You’re right, Leon. Thank you, for being a good friend.”

“I’ve got your tab, but you owe me, alright?”

“Course, mate. See you later.”

“Try to remember to surface for air sometime soon, okay?”

Arthur waved a hand behind him as he turned to face both Gwen Smith and Merlin Emrys.

* * *

Merlin had sat with Gwen at the usual spot in the pub they had been in for a while. It had been a good evening, all things considered. He had a rare night off from the hospital he worked, and spending it with her was just about the best way he could think to enjoy an evening. 

While they had casually consumed their drinks, and traded news between them, Merlin’s eyes had wandered. When Arthur Pendragon, of all people, had walked into the pub, and locked eyes with his own, he thought he might lose the ability to breathe. Beside him, Gwen had taken notice of his sudden silence, and followed his own gaze, he knew because a soft sigh escaped her as she did the same as him. A man beside Arthur who had blond curly hair took notice of the exchange and spoke to Arthur, which snapped the whole moment in two. 

Jealousy warred in Merlin, threatening to break free and cause him to do something rash. He knew it was wrong though, as he had no claim on Arthur, much as he wished he did. The man was single, for all intents and purposes though, and so Merlin could no more demand that Arthur not be seated at the bar with the admittedly attractive looking gentleman, any more than he could request that his best mate Gwaine stop seeing Percival, whom he might be in love with, if their continuous monogamy was anything to go by. 

As Merlin watched Arthur down a drink, and then another more slowly, at the behest of his companion, Merlin ground his teeth. Gwen had threaded her fingers with his, and that calmed him a bit. Regardless of the outcome of their brief foray with Arthur had been, Merlin was grateful that he and Gwen had remained intact. Regardless of what he felt for Arthur, he still loved Gwen. That Gwen had been hurt by Arthur in the process only diminished his opinion of the man a bit, but that was between them two. 

Merlin had noticed Arthur glancing back to them, and then speaking to the other man. He had even glanced back a time or two at them, which made Merlin nervous. Absentmindedly, he tried to look away, but his eyes, like Gwen’s, he noted, were drawn back to where Arthur sat. 

He watched as Arthur pushed his glass away and said something to his companion before he rose, and then he was walking towards both he and Gwen. 

Merlin’s heartbeat quickened, and stuttered. Though it was what he had wanted, he could only imagine why Arthur might be coming over, especially after two rounds of top shelf whiskey. When his eyes met Arthur’s though, they were not unfocused at all. As he came closer, it was clear that he was not drunk at all.

“Could we talk?”

Those were the first words out of Arthur’s mouth once he reached their table. His eyes darted between both Gwen and Merlin, as he waited for a yes or no. Merlin glanced over to Gwen, who seemed as cautious as he felt, by the expression on her face. Her eyes slid to Merlin’s and there was a question, as well as desire there, which he knew he felt too. He could try and deny it, but as he had learnt before, the heart wants what it wants, regardless of practicality. 

“If Gwen’s not opposed, then neither am I.”

As if that were the confirmation she needed, Gwen hopped up and went straight for Arthur, who caught her in his arms. Merlin watched as he cradled her against his chest, holding onto her as if she were the most precious thing he had the privilege of knowing. There were tears rolling down her eyes while she and Arthur clutched each other.

Merlin was still unconvinced, but would not begrudge Gwen this moment, even if it meant him being left out of it. She was much more forgiving.

“I’ll meet you both outside, while I settle up the tab.”

Arthur and Gwen both glanced over at him and nodded, then walked out of the pub, hand in hand. 

Merlin tread up to the bar where the till was, and did as he had said, paying for both his and Gwen’s food and drinks. When he turned to leave, he found the man Arthur had been sitting with standing directly in his path. 

“I realize you don’t know me, so I apologize, but I saw the looks you were giving me earlier, and I just want you to know Arthur’s my best mate and nothing more. Also, that he’s a stubborn arse, with a father any decent human would want drowned in the River Thames, but he has a good heart. Please see to it that you both take care of it.”

Merlin pursed his lips, before a small smile took its place on his mouth. 

“I’ll see to it that we do then. Nice chatting with you,”

Merlin trailed off, unsure of the man’s name, until it was offered.

“Leon.”

“Merlin.”

“Nice to meet you Merlin. Now go on and catch up with Arthur and your girlfriend, before he loses his gumption and leaves.”

Merlin nodded, and then did as he was bid. 

* * *

Gwen sat with Merlin in the front seat, their hands were intertwined as he wended his way through London traffic. It was a nightmare on a Friday night, but he managed it, with both she and Arthur in the vehicle. She could see that he was nervous though. 

After he had exited the pub, he found them leaned up against the car boot. Rather than bothering to greet Arthur, he had gruffly walked past him, and sat in the driver’s seat. The message had been clear that he refused to talk while out in public. Whatever he felt the need to say, Gwen knew it would be in the comfort of their flat, and nothing more. If Arthur was bothered by it, he said nothing. Instead, he opened the door to Gwen’s passenger seat for her, before placing himself in the back. 

Merlin drove, as he always did, occasionally lingering his gaze too long in the rear view mirror. Meanwhile, she held onto not only Merlin’s hand, but Arthur’s as well. To say she felt caught in the middle, would have been an understatement. 

Though her heart had ached before, she knew Merlin had been more broken up about Arthur leaving them before than she had. She loved Arthur, but she loved Merlin too, and if he was the only person she would love for the rest of her life, then she would be content. However, she was aware that Merlin had taken the loss of Arthur harder, as he had sobbed against her a few times. It had been surreal, but she had felt his pain, and as they had made an attempt to heal together, she was aware it was taking him longer. 

If Arthur dared to harm Merlin this time, she would have more than a few choice words for him, accompanied with a slap or two. She could live without Arthur, but Merlin, she was unsure if that were true of him. 

When Merlin killed the engine in the car park of their flat, he released her hand, and was out of the car before either she or Arthur had managed to unbuckle themselves. Before she could think about touching the door handle, she released her grip on Arthur’s hand, and turned to face him. 

He met her gaze after he ceased forlornly staring after Merlin. 

“Arthur Pendragon, I swear, if you hurt that man again.”

“I never meant to the first time, Gwen.”

“That didn’t stop you though, did it, Arthur.”

Arthur sighed and dropped his gaze to the floor beneath him. 

“No, it didn’t. For that, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t just tell me, Arthur. Merlin deserves better than that, and you know it. He was crushed by what you did. I held him for nights where he sobbed against me. If you leave again, I’m not so sure he’ll make it out on the other side the same person. I might love you, but I loved him first, and given that you have a knack for heart breaks, I will always choose him over you. Make no mistake, my love for either of you is not conditional. Whether I share it though, is. Break his heart again, and I will not forgive you.”

Arthur nodded, then opened his door to let himself out.

Gwen locked the car behind them, with the keys Merlin had left with her, then trailed up after Arthur. 

Up the stairs she went, and then tread into her’s and Merlin’s flat. She locked the door behind her, then tossed the car keys in the bowl that sat on the counter. Voices filtered to her ears, and she followed them to the back of the flat, where Arthur and Merlin were, in the office just beside his and Gwen’s shared bedroom.

When she entered, Arthur was standing off near the window, his body angled to look out it, while Merlin sat on the desk that was pushed up against the wall. The distance bespoke the tension between them. There was a time when neither could keep their hands off of the other, and now, they were as far from each other in a room as they could possibly be. 

Gwen walked in and stood over by the book shelf, so as not to play favorites. She loved them both, and in a time like this refused to pick sides. Though, her heart went out to Merlin, for what she knew he had endured. 

Clasping her hands, she then eyed them both. 

“So, boys, what are we to do? Are we fixing this, or not?”

Merlin glanced at her with a pleading look. It was one that begged her to leave it alone, but she would have none of that. Arthur’s own gaze held pain and sadness, with what looked to be yearning for something more. He had shown up at least, so she would give him the benefit of the doubt, for now. 

“I love you, Gwen.”

Arthur paused, then turned to Merlin. 

“I love you too, Merlin."

Merlin crossed his arms and glared. 

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

Gwen watched as Arthur’s jaw was set, and tension knit itself into his stance. 

“Would you believe that I thought I was protecting you? You do realize that my father is the CEO of one of the most powerful companies in not only the UK, but the world? He has his fingers in politics, and any other sort of thing you can imagine. The connections he has alone would haunt your nightmares. I was worried about what would happen, were someone to discover our relationship. The press, and he, would have a field day, and possibly ruin not only your careers but your lives. Do you have any idea how much it hurt leaving you both? I thought it was the only way.”

“You could’ve mentioned that, you prat, instead of just leaving instead. I thought it was something I had done, or said. I thought that maybe you were having second thoughts because you realized you could only love Gwen, and not me -”

Merlin dissolved into tears, and then turned away, gripping the desk before him. Gwen’s heart hurt, but she refused to go to him this time. It was Arthur’s turn to mend what he had broken.

She glanced over at Arthur, who for a moment, looked uncertain. His eyes met hers, and she gestured towards Merlin. He nodded, then tentatively began to walk over to him. 

When he placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, the wracking sobs worsened, but Merlin made no move to distance himself from the touch. Eventually, the tears ceased, and he was lifting his face to look at Arthur. 

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

Arthur then cupped Merlin’s cheeks with his hands and rubbed off the tears that still remained on his face. 

“Well you did, but I forgive you. It might take some time, but if you’re willing, we can work it out.”

“Good, because I’m not going anywhere.”

Arthur said this, whilst glancing between both Gwen and Merlin. 

Gwen’s heart soared, and she went forward, embracing both men when she was at their sides. 

“It’s good to have you back, Arthur.”

“There’s nowhere else that I would rather be.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember when I wrote this. (I'd wager almost 2 years ago or more.)
> 
> Either way, I love writing the Once and Future throuplet, and I hope you like this fic!
> 
> Thank you and have a good day!


End file.
